Saturday, October 31, 2009
{ 12:32 AM }
heyhey ppl...
i feel like tis wk has realli seriously tire maself out fully.nd still i hav 2 make time 4 every1 as much as i cn.so tired so so tired of everyting..wish i cld close ma eye nd tat everytin wld come 2 a standstill...welll seems like nth much is gng ma way.gt the same stupid instructor tat i dun like 3 times in a row alr.nt well,eye swollen.realli too much alr.burbon seem 2 be a bit sad sad 2.dunno wats wrong.
idk y but i cant help it but those few words keep repeating in ma head.'who listens 2 u,listen 2 u 4 wat wen most of the things tat comes out of ur mouth is crap nd nonsense.'wow thank you so much i must say.i will always rmb tat.nxt time i wld jus shut up.or do nt talk 2 be abt anything serious cos it wld be no use cos all i cn give u is crap nd utter nonsense.wow feel so much of a importance person.feel useless alr.lose being socially involve.lose alot nd realli alot.2 many 2 say all out.like tis i wld rather choose 2 be a loner be by maself.take it all in,keep it nd fight it wif all the strength i have gt.
nw i realli am lost.i always dint believe in love always.all guys wanted was a beautiful curved out women who they cn show of 2 all their frenz nd be proud of or 2 satisfy their sexusal needs..but then you watch all those romance drama,movies nd novels which makes u wna believe tat thr is realli love out thr...which i cnt but keep tellin maself 2 believe in it.you said match makin was stupid nd so old fashion.nd said who does it nw.but u noe smth be4 i anyting i tld maself i wld be match made nd married off 2 whoeva ma parents or god chooses 4 mi.smth u dint noe.u said i was only happy wif ma frenz tat y we always go out wif them.so does tat mean i was nvr happy wif u??i am happy wif u.maybe tat is smth u dint noe.u hav no confidence in makin mi happy nd tat ma frenz cn shld i go on wif them instead.or find a guy who cn.buttt no...i chose u.peharps i was crazy.i choose 2 give in 2 u cos i love u.maybe its smth u dint noe.i lie 2 u at times cos i dun wan u 2 get hurt.maybe its smth u dint noe either.everytime i fight wif u,its 4 a reason,it teaches u smth.nd i dun tink u knew tat either.u hav grown since the 1st day i met u.dun tink u realise tat either.i made u understand wat gals wan nd wat u shld be nd hw 2 behave...use it properly.it is realli useful.thx u 4 all tat u hav given mi.realli appreciate it alot.anyting i will be here 4 u alritez.
back 2 mi,i guess like wat ppl say patience is a virtue nd it is worth waiting 4 love nd the rite 1.nd 4 mi i am willing 2 wait.cos i dun wan jus any guy but i wan 'the guy' 4 mi.tat special 1.
i feel like i wna leave slowly let every1 leave without a bel cos i feel they dun realli need her anymore.am so proud of wat every1 has become.like wat ma mum say y does god tak innocent ppl nd ynt tak ppl like mi.sigh nvm its ok.1 day at a time nw...jiayou k every1.god bless all of u!!!
Labels: leaving the world behind
